Monday 18 June 2007

Having wasted half the weekend poring over the Queen's Birthday honours list, failing to find your name (once again) and realising (once again) that it mostly rewards people who have people who read the honours list for them, the brand new week starts in the UK. What could be making Really Huge News by the time Friday comes and the days have started getting shorter? Possibly the following:

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The Paris Airshow is cancelled when the governor requires her to strictly adhere to the jail dress code.

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European Human Rights and Trading Standards officials combine in a campaign for fairer and more accurate representation to require Men, Children and Disfunctional Family Days at Royal Ascot.

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Nicolas Sarkozy, Tony Blair and Gordon Brown re-work the Entente Cordiale. Agreement is reached, after a session at 10 Downing Street lasting several hours, that the best recipe includes whisky, creme de menthe cut with russian cologne and that Monsieur Sarkozy should handle all the questions at the press conference.

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Years of bottled up emotion are finally released at Tony Blair's last EU Summit. His closing speech, again talking about Britain being at the heart of Europe is marked with tears ... of laughter.

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To the surprise of many World Humanist Day is marked in the White House. George W. Bush expresses happiness at celebrating all that is good in humanisty and in the same press conference thanks his fellow celebrants from the Repulicanisty Party.

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Blue daubed naked dancers found by police in fields near Oxford on the summer solstice turn out to be Chelsea footballers continuing John Terry's wedding celebrations.

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Last minute preparations for Glastonbury Festival of Contemporary Performing Arts are completed with the announcement of Tony Blair headlining the new 45 minutes stage.

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The publishers of Pete Doherty's diaries stress his work is not be sniffed at - for health and safety as well as legal reasons.

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Queen Elizabeth celebrates Prince William's 25th birthday, noting that she was William's age when she became Queen. Prince Phillip lightens the mood by commenting that Prince Charles has celebrated one more birthday than his grandfather King George VI ever did.

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World Refugee Day is marked around the world. Refugees and their children have made a huge difference to our world. A random selection includes Albert Einstein, Maria von Trapp, Joseph Conrad, Arnold Schoenberg, Sir Alec Issigonis, Isabel Allende, Sigmund Freud, Hans Singer, Gloria Estefan, Henry Kissinger, Richard Rogers, Marc Chagall, Karl Marx, Anish Kapoor, Olivia Newton John, the Dalai Lama, Michael Marks, and Marliene Dietrich. The Daily Mail goes with "Immigrants To Get Weekly Rubbish Collection".

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