Monday 23 July 2007

Having spent the weekend waiting for the Amazon delivery and then reaching page 607 as fast as possible, what could be making Really Huge News by the time Friday comes and by locking yourself away from television, radio, newspapers and all mankind you discover that Harry Potter survives/dies/runs away/kisses Voldemort (delete as appropriate)? Possibly the following:

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Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson get involved in a hugely emotional scene on the evening of what would have been their 21st wedding anniversary with Andy going toe to toe with Fergie's latest paramour.

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Jeffrey Archer notes the 20th anniversary of his record libel win against the Daily Star by reflecting that his reputation is as clear as the skin on his back.

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Monica Lewinsky celebrates her 34th birthday with a come as you are party. Bill Clinton declines his invitation but splashes out on a gift.

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Gordon Brown breaks open the Irn Bru to toast that 404 years ago James VI of Scotland is crowned the first King of the United Kingdom.

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Bugs Bunny turns 67 years old and enjoys his birthday despite increasing infirmity and advancing alzheimer's making his most popular catchphrase more and more apposite.

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George W. Bush interrupts his Oval Office briefing on Cuba's Revolution Day to ask Condoleezza Rice whether he should be the one to spin the globe.

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P Diddy's new perfume "Unforgivable Woman" raises questions at the launch party as to whether this is the most unforgivable thing about Mr Combs.

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Sir Mick Jagger's 64th birthday is spent in nostalgic mood reliving his rebellious youth at an exclusive event at his favourite club at Lord's Cricket Ground.

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