Friday 20 July 2007

REALLY HUGE NEWS has obtained a copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. For those of you who cannot wait until midnight, I can reveal:

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The landlord of the Leaky Cauldron is fined for permitting smoking on the premises.

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Hermione Granger is thrown out of Hogwarts for running an internet homework service business.

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The Death Eaters are chosen to replace Ronald McDonald for the latest Big Mac advertising campaign.

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Quidditch is blessed by the International Olympic Committee and will make its debut at the 2012 Olympics.

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Metronet's administrators reveal that there are three parties interested in taking over the contract to run the Floo Network.

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Hagrid becomes Slimfast's slimmer of the year with an incredible 258 pound weight loss.

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Albus Dumbledore comes back to life in the form of David Blaine.

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Hedwig becomes diabetic after eating too many sugar mice.

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Harry Potter agrees to appear in adverts proclaiming the beneficial effects of laser scar removal treatment.

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Voldemort is arrested and charged with grooming Harry Potter.

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Happy Reading.