Friday 13 July 2007

As the week draws to a close and David Beckham prepares to wow the USA, we work through the mixed emotions and concerns of Mr & Mrs Beckham jeopardising their god given talents by too much transatlantic travel and take time to look back on recent happenings.

The REALLY HUGE NEWS this week is:

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The Queen's photo session with Annie Leibovitz went better than suggested by the BBC, although the Passport Office did reject the picture featuring the tiara for not meeting their strict new guidelines.

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Who'd buy a used football club, last owner Ken Bates and friends? The answer is Ken Bates and friends. Ken Bates paid £1 for Chelsea Football Club and received £18 million when he sold out to Roman Abramovich. His involvement with Leeds United Football Club is successfully set to reverse this process. Ironic given the traditional relationship between Chelsea and Leeds.

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Dave Barclay having flown 3,000 miles from Toronto, Canada, to Cardiff, Wales, for his friend's wedding one year early made the best of his unanticipated free time by visiting Stratford in east London for the Olympics.

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Hindu monks hoping that legal intervention will save Shambo the, allegedly TB-ridden, sacred bullock had second thoughts about their choice of law firm - Wendy, McDonalds, and Wimpy. Their lead defence barrister rejected claims of conflict of interest as people telling a bunch of Whoppers.

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The mysterious donor who has left 4 million yen in 10,000 yen bank notes (worth £40 or US$400) in men's toilets across Japan also forgot to flush.

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The proposed Fat Tax to encourage people to consume healthy food was not received well and tax officials advise that the suggestion has had its chips.

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It's been widely reported that Tony Blair is now into texting and the first reply he received was "Who are you?". Less widely reported was that this was in response to Tony texting "How's it going?" to Gordon Brown.

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Why did the Washington University study discover that older people find it harder to understand jokes than students?

A) To get to the other side
B) Kermit in a blender
C) Because it's too far to walk
D) He won't sell many ice creams going that speed, or
E) Only in the mating season

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The man accused of sawing the arms off a bronze statue of Pele confessed that he was legless at the time.

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Gordon Brown has announced that the time pupils will spend doing sports will increase to five hours a week. The extra time will be spent running round trying to find the playing fields that have been sold off by local authorities.

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