Friday 3 August 2007

As the week draws to a close, REALLY HUGE NEWS can reveal the following in depth summer research:

*****

A cheaper, and probably temporary, alternative to tattoos can be achieved by applying sun tan lotion on your skin in patterns. This allows the design of your choice to show through in only a few hours of tropical sun. Even less if the part of your body selected has never seen the sun before.

*****

Socks and sandals may be a fashion no no but they combine in a way to broadcast Britishness in a very effective manner. Particularly in a country that used to be part of the Empire.

*****

Sand can get sufficiently hot to create third degree burns.

*****

The chip shop aroma from the vinegar sachets in your first aid box is far better than being peed on to counteract jellyfish stings.

*****

Never arm wrestle an orangutan.

*****

Not even if the prize for winning the bet is really, really good.

*****

Sand can be an over efficient exfoliant.

*****

Never kiss an orangutan.

*****

Not even if the prize for winning the bet is really, really, really good.

*****

Orangutan's tongues can be an over efficient exfoliant.

*****